I Cooked A Meal And It Sucked

So, getting onto this electric and shiny new Project Apocalypso, I’ve recruited some friends into helping compile information on how the world would be after the apocalypse. The particular kind of world-ending event in this case was the sea levels rising a stupid amount, leading to loss of cities and war over redefined country boundaries and other territorial disputes.

Some kind of estimates for this, and please have your say if you think it’s wrong or you just want to have an opinion:

  • Human population initially crashes and then stabilises as people adapt and large-scale violence dies out
  • Major causes of death are from violence and disease caused by the destruction of infrastructure and intrusion of contaminants in water supply. This is a factor in just about any natural disaster; sewers busting or overflowing, pollutants running into water reservoirs; reservoirs breaking and spilling through contaminants such as city street and sewers. The spread of water and unavailability of both water and the means to boil it when it is found leads to a rapid increase in water-borne diseases.
  • As society dissolves, which in this case it must – not saying it actually would, but for the sake of the story it has to – there is loss of ownership of land and property items.
  • Loss of control over farms leads to livestock leaving the safety of controlled zones. They are now targeted as food sources. Anticipate crash in livestock population numbers due to spike in predators and injury caused by navigation of unfamiliar terrain, death from stresses the animals have been bred to not endure.
  • -Eventual recovery of livestock populations to a stable level. I might hazard a guess that chickens are the worst hit, being largely incapable of flight or running away very quickly. With large mammalian livestock we could expect to see physical and psychological change over several generations. Regression of physical characteristics to produce a less juvenile species (the silver fox experiment is an intriguing, if highly questionable, demonstration of this). Expect rise in aggression and great reduction in docility of animals.
  • Loss of information reservoirs such as servers and libraries leads to loss of connectivity of population, both with each other and with their present situation and the past.
  • Manufacture of luxury goods practically ceases. Over time, without serious recovery of the population, it will cease altogether, or become incredibly limited.
  • Manufacture of food goods, weapons and other necessities continues.
  • Gradual loss of common contact with communication devices and other high-end technology, such as internet and smart phones. Particular in places where electricity is no longer reliable.


The project has been fascinating to research. There are survivalists out there living in communes waiting for this kind of thing to happen. I mean, crazy. Totally crazy. But they are certainly an interesting case study, and perhaps the best look into how life will be should anything like this happen. Personally I think the chips are all a little too high for society to collapse based on rising water levels – we would need a massive change of events going exactly wrong. But that’s what speculative fiction is all about.

In the heart of experimentation, last night I cooked a rather speculative meal. Bunker Hawaiian version 1.0. It was composed of various ingredients with a long or indefinite shelf life. I’ll put the list of foods up soon, might make a new page for the project. What I had was white rice, Spam, pineapple jelly, garlic powder, dried fruit, and a bottle of single vintage white wine. I did some additional research on edible weeds, which was an adventure all on its own, and went into the local scrubland to gather some greens for dinner. Amazing what you can eat. Amazing what I will willingly feed my family in the name of research.

Anyway, the meal sucked. I mean, it was awful. That is to say, I enjoyed it, my folks hated it. They hated the jelly on top, they hated how I hadn’t used enough Spam (though I imagine they didn’t realise it was Spam), they hated how we also had jelly for dessert… they went and made toasted sandwiches instead.

If I was a cook, instead of a writer, I’d be offended. But not to mind. Take a look at the list of foods when it’s up, tell me if you come up with any recipes. Bunker Hawaiian v 2.0!




About Anneque D. Machelle

Anneque "Dangerpus" Machelle (rhymes with ranger wuss) is a rebel and a rogue from way out west. Strictly banned from interactions with other human beings, she spends her days amongst molluscs, dogs and lizards, whom she counts as her closest friends.

Posted on October 18, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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